Should I do Elf on the Shelf or not?
When my kids were younger we relied on Winter Warlock’s magic snowball to show Santa that they had been good but not anymore! Maybe because of global warming or maybe Winter just needed a break after so many years, it became an elf’s job to live with a family for a month and watch the children. I struggled with this. The elf looks slightly creepy and I kept seeing all of the mischiefs that these elves did. As a teacher, I wanted to join in on the fun but I didn’t want to encourage mischief or hurtful choices so I came up with another plan. I had to learn to focus on what I want.
Focus on What you Want
I have heard this all my life but until our guidance counselor and principal started saying it, it didn’t sink in with relation to children’s behavior. I have had to be intentional on focussing on the behavior I want and somewhat overlooking the behavior I do not want. (Of course, I address hurtful behavior but I focus on helpful behavior much more.) I knew if my elf was going to be successful then he would have to focus on the behavior that I want as well. So, this is what it looks like: Our class gets a surprise mail delivery. It is beautifully wrapped and is cold. The return address is the North Pole. I am quite dramatic about this delivery and ask my class “Do you know anybody that lives at the North Pole?” The kids scream “Santa Claus!” We open the package and ooh and aww over our new elf friend. We read the book and I change it to a school setting instead of a home setting. I also mention that our new friend is looking for helpful behavior to report back to Santa. We vote on a name, I place him up high so he can see all of the helpful behavior that is about to happen.
The Icing on the Cake
When the children leave they know that the elf is going to go back to the North Pole for the night to tell Santa all about their helpful behavior and that he will come back and be in a different location when they come back the next day. What they don’t realize is that our elf leaves us notes. I use paper cutouts of Christmas lights and write some of the things that he saw our class do. He calls students out by name and every child will get 3 of these notes by the time Christmas break comes. The children are always excited to see who gets a note and they love showing them to their parents. By focusing on the helpful behavior I start getting what I want!
Can this Work for my Kids or Grandkids?
Absolutely! If you have multiple children to do this for then make sure that each child will get the same number of notes by the time the elf leaves to stay at the North Pole. If you have one child then you can either write a note for that child every night or maybe the elf can notice other family members as well. I have a list of children that I am helping the elf look for helpful behavior from and I am always amazed at what I notice when I am really looking! I see true kindness, selflessness, and helpfulness. It makes my heart happy to focus on the good!
Some More Fun Ideas for Your Elf
If you want to focus on specific areas of character such as thankfulness, cooperation or sharing then here are some more ideas that the elf can help with:
- Have the elf bring a puzzle for the family to work on (helps with cooperation and focus)
- Your elf can bring a game for a family game night (assists with cooperation, winning/losing, turn-taking, and strategy.)
- A cookie basket from the North Pole with a recipe, cookie cutters and decorations can come with the elf. (This will bring help with following directions, creativity, sharing, cooperation, and fine motor skills)
- The elf can write a note saying that each person in the family needs to say 3 things they are thankful for. (This will bring about gratitude and help with sharing feelings with each other.)
- My niece’s elf brings a basket and a note that says to receive you must give first. Her kids then bring toys that they no longer use and put in the basket to donate. (promotes giving and thinking of others)
- Have the elf bring instructions to get an angel off the angel tree or to make a donation as a family. Have the children be a part of this process so they can see how much of a blessing it is to give. (This will encourage giving and looking for ways to help others.)
Remember, whatever it is that you want to see more of is what you will want to focus on. While all of these ideas help you to focus on character building they also promote having fun together as a family.
Saying Goodbye to Our Elf Friend
When it is time for our elf to leave for the year, our elf leaves a note saying how much he has enjoyed seeing all of the children’s helpful choices and then he encourages them to continue making the helpful choices all year. Our class also watches Polar Express on the last day of school before Christmas break so he leaves each child with a bell surprise so they will remember him all year. The children love it and it gives us all a chance to turn our focus to making helpful choices. Does your family or classroom have an Elf on the Shelf? What does he focus on? Remember to focus on what you want and you will start to see more of it!
